You know it too well. The darkness that
wants so badly to control you. The feelings
that make you want to let the blood run free.
The sense of despair that comes from feeling
like you are trapped in the bottom of a dark,
earthen pit and the only way out are tangled
vines covered in crude oil.
These feelings are so overpowering that
you don't even know if you are capable of living
a "normal life." You don't even know if you are
capable of walking around every day without
hurting yourself, or someone else. You feel so
estranged when you look at other people, and
this overwhelming sense of uselessness creeps
up on you when you try to think about going to
work. You feel trapped by the inability to rise and
face a new day. You feel like you are living a lie.
You are not alone.
See that woman over there? She is a single
mom with three children and is living on welfare;
but you wouldn't know it to look at her. The despair
she feels is cleverly masked with an aura of hope.
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The cashier in your grocery store who is
always smiling? You know the one. She
was in and out of foster homes her whole
life. She never truly felt like she was loved;
she never feels like she belongs anywhere.
That lady in line wearing the garishly large
diamond ring, the one who's Mercedes is illegally
parked in the fire lane? Yes, she feels the demon
of despair just as deeply as you do.
Who of these are not "worth" your sympathy?
Can you truly stand here as a fellow human being,
having felt the deepness of depression yourself,
and say that one human being's feelings are "worse"
or "better" or even more "deserving" than another's?
No. We all, every single one of us, struggle daily to
keep these demons at bay. We all falter sometimes
and find that this demon has gained control for a while.
We all understand what you are going through.
You are not alone.
-Rebekah Faith
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